Wow!

For some reason I completely forgot about this blog. I just thought of it tonight and it's been over 3 months since I last wrote. Guess I have some catching up to do. I have journaled over that time. I wish there was a way to put it on here in the right date rather than just put it all on one day.

Peace

Tonight as I was getting ready to go to sleep I longed for a word from God. I have to take the first section of the CPA exam this Friday and quite frankly I am scared. He prompted me to read Today's Word with Joel & Victoria (a daily email I get). The first thing I read was "Find Peace Today." How awesome is that?! The scripture they give is "You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You" (Isaiah 26:3, NKJ) Oh how I needed to read that! Thank you Jesus!

Trusting

Something that I have learned is that when God tells me no to something, it is for my own good. I may not understand why, but I must trust His ♥ and plan for me. His ways are higher than my ways. His thoughts higher than my thoughts. His ♥ for me is greater than I could ever imagine. If He is telling me no, there is a reason.

Overwhelmed

Lord...

help me to be strong for I am weak
give me rest for I am weary
heal my heart for it is broken
give me wisdom for I am clueless
lead me for I am lost
forgive me for I have sinned against you
shine through me that I will be a light in the darkness


I thank you...

YOU are my strength
YOU are the one I rest in
YOU are my healer
YOU are the answer
YOU are my direction
YOU are my Savior
YOU are the light

You not only hear my prayers and the cries of my heart. You answer them.

How great God is!

For quite some time (years even)I have been attempting to get Dylan to clean his room to no avail. It has been one of THOSE battles. His attitude towards getting it done was one I was not willing to fight against...at least not in the sense of making him stay in his room till it's clean, can't play when he gets home because his room isn't clean, etc.

Recently, I had had enough and I gave him one week to clean his room. I told him if he didn't clean it I would (and he would lose his stuff permanently). Of course, despite the fact I even went into his room with him to help on at least one occasion, he did not clean his room. Not even close. I was not looking forward to doing the job myself and taking all his stuff and I have been rather busy so despite the time being up, I didn't do anything with his room.

Dylan mentioned to me more than once about my not cleaning his room and I told him that at any point now it's fair game and I will get to it. Twice in the last week he told me he'd clean it and on Wednesday even said cross his heart(lol). Both times I mentioned to him what he said on that day, he just said "hmm." (He says he cleaned Wednesday, but I couldn't tell it.)

Within the last few days, God gave me the idea of not doing Dylan's room myself, but rather only do part and do the stuff that is the most important to him. I told him a couple of days ago that was what I was going to do. This morning I walked in his room and grabbed the kite he had on his desk. Then I grabbed the "jacket" I had told him to hang up. Under it was another couple of things that didn't belong there. Finally, the hardest one for me was there was a container on the floor with a bunch (20+) cars of his.

God had specifically told me to get rid of it today. That way there would be no argument and/or ability for him to get them back. I "just happened" to be going to a get together today at a friend's house. I took the kite, cars, and cap with me and gave them to a woman I know who has 2 boys. When Dylan got home, I told him what had taken place. He not only handled it extremely well, he was VERY diligent in cleaning his room. So much so, that I told him I would not take anything from his room today.

We talked a little about how my issue isn't his messy room, but the refusal to clean it. As long as he's diligent in getting it clean then I am more than happy to work with him. Once he gets it clean, then we'll have to come up with something for him to keep it that way. For right now, I am just ecstatic that his room is getting clean without me being the one doing it AND without fighting him to get it done!

THANK YOU JESUS!

He MUST wonder sometimes...

I had to laugh and shake my head earlier. A while back I felt like God was telling me to go ahead and apply for the CPA exam and start the Becker Review even though I could run into some potential problems. I recognized that in order to walk by faith, I had to not know how it was all going to work out. If I knew how, then that wouldn't be walking in faith. So, I went ahead and applied for the exam. However, I had not actually signed up for the review since I was waiting on my transcript to be available. In the meantime, I began to wonder and then I discovered that my transcript wasn't going to be available until later than I thought which posed even greater potential for problems. That in turn led me to start doubting (or maybe reasoning ???). I still recognized that walk in faith = uncertainty. Still, I wasn't sure if what I was experiencing was God, myself, or the enemy. Well while I was praying earlier today and I had this conversation with God...

Me: What am I going to do?
God: Have I told you any differently?
Me: No
God: Then what's the problem?

Where did the time go?

Well that went by quick! On April 29th, I took my last 2 finals and it was amazing. To celebrate, a friend and I went to Olive Garden (yum!) and hung out for the afternoon. Then we went and saw a movie.

Can't really tell you where the last little over a week went, but I have been busy. A lot to catch up on now that I am done with school. I have a month TO THE DAY to recoup, relax, and recover. I start the Becker Review for CPA at the end of this month. I am VERY much looking forward to that.

Today was pretty amazing in a lot of aspects. The main one being the way God always provides for me. I have a lot to be proud of today; not just the fact that I have now earned a bachelor degree, but also how much I have grown as a person (especially in the past few months). I am excited about what lies ahead and what God has in store for me...and I am waiting for my "Clay." (hint...One Tuesday Morning/Beyond Tuesday Morning by Karen Kingsbury)

Almost There

Can't believe I'm finally here. The final day before my last 2 exams! Woo hoo! God is so good! Dylan "just so happens" to have today and tomorrow off from school so I have ALL day today to study and I get to go celebrate tomorrow after school. It feels so surreal! Words can not describe the excitement I feel. But we're not quite done yet, so I gotta get the emotions under wraps and focus on studying.

My Verse for Today

With everything said in the previous blog...

Here is your Verse of the Day:
1 John 5:4 (NIV). For everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith....... Thoughts on This Verse... This is the companion passage to 1 John 2:17 --''The world and its desires are passing away, but the one who ...does the will of God lives forever.'' Our destiny and future are not limited to the boundaries of existence tied to our little blue planet. Our future and our hope burst the boundaries of mortality and are tied to our faith in a resurrected and victorious Savior who is coming back to bring us to his eternal home. This faith is displayed by doing God's will even when most in our contemporary culture choose to chase what is fleeting and transient.


My thoughts on this verse are that there is nothing I can’t overcome! The thing that is going to help me overcome is…my faith! Praise ya Jesus!!!!!!

God has spoken to me numerous times over the past week and a half about what I believe and my faith. Do I believe what I see or am I going to have faith? What am I choosing to believe?

♪ But the voice of Truth tells me a different story ♫
♫ The voice of Truth says do not be afraid ♫
♪ Out of all the voices calling out to me ♪
♫ I will choose and listen to believe the voice of Truth ♪

Part of the Process

Today was a REALLY rough day. My son's behavior was very challenging at times and I had a hard time dealing with it. Quite a few times though, I can’t remember specifically which ones, songs came on the radio that spoke right to what I was going through. God has done that over and over again this last month and it has been amazing! He soothes my soul…heals my heart…forgives my transgressions…makes me new!

When I was in my bedroom talking to God about what had taken place and my actions concerning it I noticed a book open under my night stand. I grabbed it out to see what it was and I read “When the Going Gets Tough.” I just had to laugh. It is a “booklet” from Discovery House that I had started reading awhile ago and hadn’t finished. When I turned the book over it was right at the part that I had highlighted about trials (yet I was past this part in the reading, hmmmm). Almost immediately I read “More than the…was my lack of maturity in terms of self-control and Christlikeness.” OUCH!!!!! More than Dylan’s problem with his behavior was my reaction to it. Joyce talks about making spiritual/emotional maturity your goal. Lord please help me to GROW UP! It is something I am striving for and I hope I get there sooner than later! Not only for my sake, but the sake of my precious little boy!

♫ Lord I want to be just like you
Cause he wants to me just like me
I want to be a holy example
for his innocent eyes to see
Helping me a living Bible Lord
That my little boy can read
I want to be just like you
Cause he wants to be like me ♫

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Z8bXcBRIU0

My Verse for Today

I have an app on Facebook called My Daily Verse. Mine for today is...

Here is your Verse of the Day:
Psalm 31:23-24 (NIV). Love the LORD, all his saints! The LORD preserves the faithful, but the proud he pays back in full. Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the LORD....... Thoughts on This Verse... Love the LORD! Be strong because of your hope in the LORD. In other words, recognize where your strength is. Acknowledge your source of grace. Give praise to God for his abundant mercy and power lavished on us through his Holy Spirit. The LORD God does preserve his people. He does honor faithfulness even if it is mocked in this world. The LORD will bless his people and deal justly with those who mock and abuse them.

Amen! This is exactly where I am. Praise the Lord!

Pain

I continue to be amazed at how God has loved on me, provided for me, brought healing to me during this difficult time. When I went to the grocery store earlier, I was flipping through the set radio channels in my car. I "happened" to turn on 90.1 which I seldom listen to. I don't remember what exactly caught my attention, but the broadcast was on pain. There was a statement so profound and I feel a message from God that I wrote it down. That statement is

Pain is the avenue that leads us back to Christ.
It's the avenue that strengthens our faith.

How so very true! That is exactly what I have been living the last several days. I thank God that He doesn't waste a thing. He uses everything that happens in His life for a purpose. Even if we can't see it.

Growing taller

I believe God gave me a revelation earlier. I was thinking about how we must fight against the enemy. Our war is not against flesh and blood. I also remembered that the word tells us that Jesus' enemies will be made a footstool for Him.

The LORD says to my Lord:
"Sit at my right hand
until I make your enemies
a footstool for your feet."

Then it hit me...every time our enemies are defeated and they become our footstool (through our connection to Christ of course) we grow taller!

If you stand on a footstool at your house it makes you taller. The same goes in the spirit with the defeat of our enemies.

What a word!

There is a situation in my life that has been really hard for me to deal with. Some days are better than others and this afternoon/evening has been one of the rougher ones. After I put Dylan to bed, I grabbed New Day New You by Joyce Meyer and said "God I need a word." I opened the book and the title read "More Than Conquerors." I just had to smile. God's reminder that I will over come this situation. The whole devotion was good, but the lines that stood out the most were "Whenever a trial of any kind comes against you, always remember: This too, shall pass! Be confident that during the trial you will learn something that will help you in the future." I especially like the second one! I was reminded earlier about God perfecting us through trials and that gold is purified through flames. Every trial, every tribulation, every struggle is designed to help me become the person God created me to be.

I also decided to glance at the devotion on the other page to see what it had to say. The title read "Know Your Enemy." I knew exactly what it was referring to since I have been reminding myself for quite some time now that my fight is not against flesh and blood.

What a Journey

I came across an email I had sent a friend on June 16, 2009. I am amazed by the journey I have been on since then. Wow! What a ride it has been.

The email said "i have had you on my heart since we saw each other. i love you and want so much for you. i just know that God is gong to meet you during you period of fasting."

My reply:

Thank you. I know He will too. It's just in a matter of in what way.

I have STRUGGLED with walking in love and going out on a limb because of past hurts and that is not God's desire for me. I know that He answers prayer that is in line with His will and both of those things are His will for me.

In a nut shell, Dale told me years ago that I was like a clam. Hard on the outside, but soft and beautiful on the inside. You just had to get past the hard part (of course, the hard shell was my protection). When I found my way back to God, He told me His desire was to reverse that. For me to be soft and beautiful on the outside and strong ("hard") in Him on the inside (at the center). God began that work and I know He is faithful to finish it, but I have hit some road blocks along the way.

Candy, it is sooooooo my desire to be able to reach out to people and tell them about our wonderful and awesome Savior without being hurt by their reaction. I want so badly to walk in love and impact people for Him. I want to be a person that can tell someone about Jesus and have them spit on me, tell me I'm a freak, whatever and still see them the same and not run and hid/cry. At this point that's not the case.

Awhile ago I was listening to Rascal Flatts' song "When the sand runs out." The chorus says

I'm gonna stop lookin' back
and start movin' on
And learn how to face my fears
Love with all of my heart
and make my mark
I wanna leave something here
Go out on a ledge without any net
That's what I'm gonna be about
Yeah, I wanna be runnin' when the
sand runs out

That is soo how I wanna be. I told God I want to be a person that goes out on a limb. But what happens when I fall? Then I get the wind knocked out of me. He told me "Yeah and then you come to me and I'll breathe life back into you. Then you go out and do it again" Unfortunately, it hasn't exactly worked quite that well. Either I haven't run to Him after it or I haven't had the _________ (you fill in the blank) to get back up and do it again. But some day I will. I know that.

God has a wonderful calling on my life and I REFUSE to let the enemy steal that from Him or me. Some days are better than others and we all have our moments. There's times my focus is right on and others I get frustrated and discouraged (that's usually when I have my eyes on this world/my circumstance instead of Him). I am a child of the Most High God. I am a princess and the apple of my daddy's eye. I am an over comer and more than a conqueror. I am the righteousness of Christ, bought with a price. I belong to the One who created me and loves me more than anything. I am loved by God. Not only that, He delights in me. As much as I love Dylan and enjoy him, God does so with me on a much grander scale. There's is nothing that is too big for God and I know that with Him on my side who can be against me? I know that Jesus didn't die for me to just make it to heaven, but that He desires that I enjoy life and have it to the full. He didn't die for me to be depressed, angry, or muddle through, but to experience all "this life" has to offer.

But like I said earlier, what the mind knows matters not to the heart. I know all these things and believe them whole heartedly. It's a matter of receiving/living it though. That's going to TOTALLY take God to do that. They say that the longest distance is the distance between your head and your heart. I have battled this for years because of my intellect and my self-preservation. He started a good work a few weeks ago with my heart through a couple people I know. Now what I going through now with the fast is a continuation of that journey. I just gotta trust Him and hang on!

God Bless,
Genetta

I can't even begin to describe the emotion I feel as I read this email. The understanding that I know possess is just mind boggling to me. I am still a work in progress (as I always will be until Christ returns) but I have come so, so far from where I was when I wrote this. I understand a whole lot better about the things I wrote about and a whole lot more about being able to walk in them. Thank you Jesus!

Learning to Parent

As I was talking with my son's grandmother today, God gave me a picture of my life as a mother. The analogy He gave me was that of a baby learning to walk.

Sometimes I wobble and I fall down. Sometimes I wobble, but then I catch myself. Still other times I take good steps. Sometimes I take multiple ones in a row and get to thinking I am home free only to fall flat on my butt. Then God scoops down, picks me up, brushes me off, gives me a hug and sends me on my way. Each time though I am learning how to "walk" better.

I just need to keep my eyes on Jesus and my heart submitted to allowing Him to do what He wants.

Philippians 1:6 (Amplified Bible)

And I am convinced and sure of this very thing, that He Who began a good work in you will continue until the day of Jesus Christ [right up to the time of His return], developing [that good work] and perfecting and bringing it to full completion in you.

Breakthrough

Tonight at IHOP Chicago, I ended talking to a lady afterward that asked if she could pray for me. When she did she prophesied over me. The first thing she said was firm. I don't quite remember all said, but I remember some of it and the general idea. She said that she got the image of a rock being split by roots that were growing through it. She said that God was saying that there are roots that are firmly rooted in Him and they are going to break the rock into pieces. She also said that there have been other seeds that have tried to grow through, but they were not strong enough. This time that are rooted deeply into His love, thereby making it possible.

Jesus, I'm amazed by you!

So much has taken place over the last couple of days it is mind boggling to me. I am just in awe of my savior and king Jesus Christ. It has been quite some time since I have felt His presence in the way that I have over this past weekend. I am humbled.

Revelation

I have heard the phrase that God even rested on the 7th day, what makes us think we don't need to rest. Today as I was reading in Genesis 1, I got a couple new revelations. First If it took God 6 days to make the earth and everything in it, what makes us think we can do it all in one day. Everything is a process. It builds upon that which is already there. The more that is there, the more there is to build upon equaling more results.

Second, as I was pondering all this the idea came to me about God never experiencing set back. He's never failed. Never attempted to do something and had it fail. That is not completely true. While God has never sinned, never done anything wrong, He HAS experienced setbacks. Look at us! The difference is that God makes the best of every situation. He has a remarkable ability to turn things about and bring good out of them. Just like He did with Jesus. He took a hopeless situation of eternity away from His children and CREATED a way to bring us back to Him. He didn't let "the chips fall where they may" per say. He did something about it. God is purposeful in all that He does. We were created in His image. We need to be purposeful in what we do and create opportunities (with His help of course because outside of Him we can do nothing).

Love this verse:

Revelation 4:11 (NKJV)
You are worthy, O Lord,
To receive glory and honor and power;
For You created all things,
And by Your will they exist and were created.

That was quick - prayer answered

Tonight as I was praying I asked God what I am to have faith in. I have struggled with that for a long time. When I thought I was done praying, I got up and sat down on my bed. I went to grab my Bible, but I didn't feel at peace. Instead, I felt a tugging at my heart to get back on the floor. When I did that I remembered the words of one of my pastors awhile back about sitting quietly waiting on the Lord. For many reasons, I have struggled with that as well. I was obedient. As I also was also obedient at adopting His schedule in the first place that allowed me to have the time to do all this. Boy did He reward me. Within just a few minutes I heard "That I have begun a good work in you and I will complete it. That is what you should have faith in." Hallelujah!!! God is wonderful! I realized after He spoke that how far I had gotten away from even thinking about that verse let alone believing in it. I really need that reminder and the faith that came from Him speaking to me period.