Well here I sit with the same dilemna. I am already late for bed (how this happens every night is beyond me) and I have stuff I'd like to do/get done. Also, it is 11:00 and I am not even ready for bed. I also would like to do some reading before I go to sleep. The main conflict is that my house is a mess and I hate living in it so I want to clean and I also want to watch Biggest Loser that I taped last night. It is very difficult to give up what we want to do (especially if it is fun and I'm soooo curious) to do what is right. Well, tonight I'm choosing the harder path and going to bed. We'll see how well I succeed. I'm pretty good at getting off track.
Also, I hear that every choice done in the right direction makes it that much easier the next time. I'll let ya know tomorrow night.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Revelation
I just love it when God reveals Himself, life, myself to me. He knows how to speak to each one of us if we'll just listen. Many times as I am going throughout my day, He'll use circumstances to help me better understand myself, Him and life. I think that it is good to go back periodically and remind yourself where you've been and what God has done in your life. Sometimes in these blogs, I will do just that. Tonight as I was cleaning, I came across something I had journaled on Aug 4, 2008. I decided to post it...
On August 3, 2008 after an incident with injustice at the church yet again and the problems arising out of that I was driving to go see my sister. As I drove down the street, I noticed a cop from another town in traffic going the other direction. At first, I wondered if I was speeding. Then a thought occurred to me. Even if I was speeding, that cop had no jurisdiction to do anything about it. The only thing he could do was to report it to one who did have authority. This works also with us. There are many things that we see &/or experience that we don't have the authority to do anything about. We need to go to one who does, either leadership or God (depending on what you think). Actually, should probably take it to God and then to leadership if He tells ya to. Now here I sit on Aug 4, 2008 writing these by candlelight. We had a tremendous storm tonight and our power is out. It is now 9:05 p.m. (Thank God for cell phones!) and it has been out since around 7:45 p.m. Anyways, the storm was a wild one. It poured like crazy and the lightning & thunder were boisterous. The interesting thing is that here I lay writing by candlelight and the storm is long since O-V-E-R. It is now pretty calm outside with a little rain and (oops! just heard a rumble) I still bear the effects of it. After the storm, sometimes things have to be undone or are affected altogether (such as the case of a tree being split. can't repair; must remove which means the tree is permanently gone). Our lives are the same in a sense. After a storm of our emotions and attitudes, sometimes things get damaged. Sometimes long after we're done with our fit, someone else is still feeling the consequences of it. The things that can be "undone", take work. Work that could be spent elsewhere. Obviously, the stuff that can't is lost completely. (there's more but I can't find the page. Just the last sentence that trails off).
I get these kinds of revelations periodically and I believe that it helps me to be a better person and to enjoy my life more. I know that by no means will I ever begin to understand even a fraction of The Truth, but every little bit I can gain I appreciate. God is sooooo good!
On August 3, 2008 after an incident with injustice at the church yet again and the problems arising out of that I was driving to go see my sister. As I drove down the street, I noticed a cop from another town in traffic going the other direction. At first, I wondered if I was speeding. Then a thought occurred to me. Even if I was speeding, that cop had no jurisdiction to do anything about it. The only thing he could do was to report it to one who did have authority. This works also with us. There are many things that we see &/or experience that we don't have the authority to do anything about. We need to go to one who does, either leadership or God (depending on what you think). Actually, should probably take it to God and then to leadership if He tells ya to. Now here I sit on Aug 4, 2008 writing these by candlelight. We had a tremendous storm tonight and our power is out. It is now 9:05 p.m. (Thank God for cell phones!) and it has been out since around 7:45 p.m. Anyways, the storm was a wild one. It poured like crazy and the lightning & thunder were boisterous. The interesting thing is that here I lay writing by candlelight and the storm is long since O-V-E-R. It is now pretty calm outside with a little rain and (oops! just heard a rumble) I still bear the effects of it. After the storm, sometimes things have to be undone or are affected altogether (such as the case of a tree being split. can't repair; must remove which means the tree is permanently gone). Our lives are the same in a sense. After a storm of our emotions and attitudes, sometimes things get damaged. Sometimes long after we're done with our fit, someone else is still feeling the consequences of it. The things that can be "undone", take work. Work that could be spent elsewhere. Obviously, the stuff that can't is lost completely. (there's more but I can't find the page. Just the last sentence that trails off).
I get these kinds of revelations periodically and I believe that it helps me to be a better person and to enjoy my life more. I know that by no means will I ever begin to understand even a fraction of The Truth, but every little bit I can gain I appreciate. God is sooooo good!
Here we go already...
I should have been in bed hours ago and yet I am not. In part due to setting this things up. God had spoken to me quite awhile ago about going to bed at a certain time for many reasons. I understand why and agree. Yet I struggle night after night trying to make myself go to bed!
Just recently I started going to a small group that is doing the book "Boundaries." I joined that particular group because I felt that that's where God wanted me although I wasn't quite sure why. I'm definitely no genius when it comes to boundaries, but I'm no dummy either. I knew if He had me in there, there was something He wanted me to get out of it. I had no idea what I was getting into. By the end of the first meeting, God revealed the answer to me.
My probably with boundaries was with myself. I struggle with giving myself boundaries and sticking to them. It's hard being on both sides of the fence at the same time. For instances, I told myself both last night and tonight that I was not going to go to bed late. I really need to be in bed by around 11:00 p.m.. Last night I went to sleep around 2:00 a.m. and "tonight" it's already 4:00 a.m. and I'm doing this (which at this point in time I feel like I need to, but getting to this point not so much). Part of me wants to do what I need to and go to bed and the other (stronger at this time, but not for long) part wants to stay up and do other stuff.
I once heard a teaching that you'll either have the pain of self-discipline or the pain of regret. I have since discovered that since we are usually pain avoidance creatures, we will go with which ever one is less painful. Therefore, until the pain of regret is greater than the pain of self-discipline, we will continue to make poor choices.
One thing I'm kinda confused about though is where God fits in. I know that He helps us to have self-control, but also I feel that our love for Him should also be a factor. Just not exactly sure how at this hour. I'll have a better idea after a good mornings rest.
I know that in order to be the person God created me to be and to be a vessel that He can use, I've GOT to learn self-control. Die well! I also know that it is going to take God to help me because I can't do it on my own.
Just recently I started going to a small group that is doing the book "Boundaries." I joined that particular group because I felt that that's where God wanted me although I wasn't quite sure why. I'm definitely no genius when it comes to boundaries, but I'm no dummy either. I knew if He had me in there, there was something He wanted me to get out of it. I had no idea what I was getting into. By the end of the first meeting, God revealed the answer to me.
My probably with boundaries was with myself. I struggle with giving myself boundaries and sticking to them. It's hard being on both sides of the fence at the same time. For instances, I told myself both last night and tonight that I was not going to go to bed late. I really need to be in bed by around 11:00 p.m.. Last night I went to sleep around 2:00 a.m. and "tonight" it's already 4:00 a.m. and I'm doing this (which at this point in time I feel like I need to, but getting to this point not so much). Part of me wants to do what I need to and go to bed and the other (stronger at this time, but not for long) part wants to stay up and do other stuff.
I once heard a teaching that you'll either have the pain of self-discipline or the pain of regret. I have since discovered that since we are usually pain avoidance creatures, we will go with which ever one is less painful. Therefore, until the pain of regret is greater than the pain of self-discipline, we will continue to make poor choices.
One thing I'm kinda confused about though is where God fits in. I know that He helps us to have self-control, but also I feel that our love for Him should also be a factor. Just not exactly sure how at this hour. I'll have a better idea after a good mornings rest.
I know that in order to be the person God created me to be and to be a vessel that He can use, I've GOT to learn self-control. Die well! I also know that it is going to take God to help me because I can't do it on my own.
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