Pain

I continue to be amazed at how God has loved on me, provided for me, brought healing to me during this difficult time. When I went to the grocery store earlier, I was flipping through the set radio channels in my car. I "happened" to turn on 90.1 which I seldom listen to. I don't remember what exactly caught my attention, but the broadcast was on pain. There was a statement so profound and I feel a message from God that I wrote it down. That statement is

Pain is the avenue that leads us back to Christ.
It's the avenue that strengthens our faith.

How so very true! That is exactly what I have been living the last several days. I thank God that He doesn't waste a thing. He uses everything that happens in His life for a purpose. Even if we can't see it.

Growing taller

I believe God gave me a revelation earlier. I was thinking about how we must fight against the enemy. Our war is not against flesh and blood. I also remembered that the word tells us that Jesus' enemies will be made a footstool for Him.

The LORD says to my Lord:
"Sit at my right hand
until I make your enemies
a footstool for your feet."

Then it hit me...every time our enemies are defeated and they become our footstool (through our connection to Christ of course) we grow taller!

If you stand on a footstool at your house it makes you taller. The same goes in the spirit with the defeat of our enemies.

What a word!

There is a situation in my life that has been really hard for me to deal with. Some days are better than others and this afternoon/evening has been one of the rougher ones. After I put Dylan to bed, I grabbed New Day New You by Joyce Meyer and said "God I need a word." I opened the book and the title read "More Than Conquerors." I just had to smile. God's reminder that I will over come this situation. The whole devotion was good, but the lines that stood out the most were "Whenever a trial of any kind comes against you, always remember: This too, shall pass! Be confident that during the trial you will learn something that will help you in the future." I especially like the second one! I was reminded earlier about God perfecting us through trials and that gold is purified through flames. Every trial, every tribulation, every struggle is designed to help me become the person God created me to be.

I also decided to glance at the devotion on the other page to see what it had to say. The title read "Know Your Enemy." I knew exactly what it was referring to since I have been reminding myself for quite some time now that my fight is not against flesh and blood.

What a Journey

I came across an email I had sent a friend on June 16, 2009. I am amazed by the journey I have been on since then. Wow! What a ride it has been.

The email said "i have had you on my heart since we saw each other. i love you and want so much for you. i just know that God is gong to meet you during you period of fasting."

My reply:

Thank you. I know He will too. It's just in a matter of in what way.

I have STRUGGLED with walking in love and going out on a limb because of past hurts and that is not God's desire for me. I know that He answers prayer that is in line with His will and both of those things are His will for me.

In a nut shell, Dale told me years ago that I was like a clam. Hard on the outside, but soft and beautiful on the inside. You just had to get past the hard part (of course, the hard shell was my protection). When I found my way back to God, He told me His desire was to reverse that. For me to be soft and beautiful on the outside and strong ("hard") in Him on the inside (at the center). God began that work and I know He is faithful to finish it, but I have hit some road blocks along the way.

Candy, it is sooooooo my desire to be able to reach out to people and tell them about our wonderful and awesome Savior without being hurt by their reaction. I want so badly to walk in love and impact people for Him. I want to be a person that can tell someone about Jesus and have them spit on me, tell me I'm a freak, whatever and still see them the same and not run and hid/cry. At this point that's not the case.

Awhile ago I was listening to Rascal Flatts' song "When the sand runs out." The chorus says

I'm gonna stop lookin' back
and start movin' on
And learn how to face my fears
Love with all of my heart
and make my mark
I wanna leave something here
Go out on a ledge without any net
That's what I'm gonna be about
Yeah, I wanna be runnin' when the
sand runs out

That is soo how I wanna be. I told God I want to be a person that goes out on a limb. But what happens when I fall? Then I get the wind knocked out of me. He told me "Yeah and then you come to me and I'll breathe life back into you. Then you go out and do it again" Unfortunately, it hasn't exactly worked quite that well. Either I haven't run to Him after it or I haven't had the _________ (you fill in the blank) to get back up and do it again. But some day I will. I know that.

God has a wonderful calling on my life and I REFUSE to let the enemy steal that from Him or me. Some days are better than others and we all have our moments. There's times my focus is right on and others I get frustrated and discouraged (that's usually when I have my eyes on this world/my circumstance instead of Him). I am a child of the Most High God. I am a princess and the apple of my daddy's eye. I am an over comer and more than a conqueror. I am the righteousness of Christ, bought with a price. I belong to the One who created me and loves me more than anything. I am loved by God. Not only that, He delights in me. As much as I love Dylan and enjoy him, God does so with me on a much grander scale. There's is nothing that is too big for God and I know that with Him on my side who can be against me? I know that Jesus didn't die for me to just make it to heaven, but that He desires that I enjoy life and have it to the full. He didn't die for me to be depressed, angry, or muddle through, but to experience all "this life" has to offer.

But like I said earlier, what the mind knows matters not to the heart. I know all these things and believe them whole heartedly. It's a matter of receiving/living it though. That's going to TOTALLY take God to do that. They say that the longest distance is the distance between your head and your heart. I have battled this for years because of my intellect and my self-preservation. He started a good work a few weeks ago with my heart through a couple people I know. Now what I going through now with the fast is a continuation of that journey. I just gotta trust Him and hang on!

God Bless,
Genetta

I can't even begin to describe the emotion I feel as I read this email. The understanding that I know possess is just mind boggling to me. I am still a work in progress (as I always will be until Christ returns) but I have come so, so far from where I was when I wrote this. I understand a whole lot better about the things I wrote about and a whole lot more about being able to walk in them. Thank you Jesus!

Learning to Parent

As I was talking with my son's grandmother today, God gave me a picture of my life as a mother. The analogy He gave me was that of a baby learning to walk.

Sometimes I wobble and I fall down. Sometimes I wobble, but then I catch myself. Still other times I take good steps. Sometimes I take multiple ones in a row and get to thinking I am home free only to fall flat on my butt. Then God scoops down, picks me up, brushes me off, gives me a hug and sends me on my way. Each time though I am learning how to "walk" better.

I just need to keep my eyes on Jesus and my heart submitted to allowing Him to do what He wants.

Philippians 1:6 (Amplified Bible)

And I am convinced and sure of this very thing, that He Who began a good work in you will continue until the day of Jesus Christ [right up to the time of His return], developing [that good work] and perfecting and bringing it to full completion in you.

Breakthrough

Tonight at IHOP Chicago, I ended talking to a lady afterward that asked if she could pray for me. When she did she prophesied over me. The first thing she said was firm. I don't quite remember all said, but I remember some of it and the general idea. She said that she got the image of a rock being split by roots that were growing through it. She said that God was saying that there are roots that are firmly rooted in Him and they are going to break the rock into pieces. She also said that there have been other seeds that have tried to grow through, but they were not strong enough. This time that are rooted deeply into His love, thereby making it possible.

Jesus, I'm amazed by you!

So much has taken place over the last couple of days it is mind boggling to me. I am just in awe of my savior and king Jesus Christ. It has been quite some time since I have felt His presence in the way that I have over this past weekend. I am humbled.