In the middle of September, my mom informed me that my brother's probation officer had classified him as having violating his probation. They were planning on sending him to prison... for 3 1/2 years. I began praying that God's will would be done in his life. He went to court September 24th and took a "pre-dated"blind plea for 3 years. They wanted to take him right away, but he talked them into postponing it till October 15th. The terms were pretty much set, but they gave him 3 weeks before he's actually be sentenced. The anniversary of our dad's death was on September 27th. We had plans to all go out to eat (my mom and us siblings) since it was the 7 year anniversary and we hadn't done it in a few years. My mom was concerned that Teague ( the only boy) wasn't going to be able to be there.
Then on October 15th when Teague got sentenced, my mom saw a familiar face and heard a familiar name get called. It was my ex from over 10 years ago. Upon investigation, I discovered that he was in for robbing a gas station. I felt the Lord prompt me to write him. I am A LOT different now than when I knew him. I wrote to him about the change that God had made in my life since I came to know Him. I told him that I hope he finds the freedom in Christ that I have found. I'm not sure if he received the letter yet due to some circumstances, but I should find out soon.
My mom had told me about something concerning my brother when he was about to and did get locked up. He has spoken about God again including about praying and God answering/blessing him. The cool thing is that on 11/18, I wrote a letter to him and some very deep emotional things came out and I was sure why. I just knew that it was God led and that it needed to be written for whatever reason. Well tonight I got my first letter from him and it was dated, you guessed it, 11/18. He mentioned that he ran into my ex when they got shipped to Stateville for intake. Small world. I guess he told my brother that my mom is cool and he'd appreciate it if she wrote to him. Ha! God works in mysterious ways! He also mentioned some awesome stuff about God including that he has "accepted God back into my life and am now seeing things clearly for the first time in a long time." He also mentioned some other stuff that fits right along with the stuff I was writing him on that day. Wow! God is soooo amazing!
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Amazing
God never seizes to amaze me. Whether it be a song, a scripture, a word from a friend, the way that God speaks to me in times of trouble amazes me.
Tonight I was having a VERY rough time with Dylan and I snapped. A minute later, I hear this come from the radio:
Father, let the world just fade away
Let me feel your presence in this place
Lord, I've never been so weary
How I need to know you're near me
Father, let the world just fade away
Till I'm on my knees
Till my heart can sing
He is
He was
He always will be
Even when it feels like there is no one holding me
Be still, my soul
He is
Father, let your Holy Spirit sing
Let it calm the storm inside of me
As I stand amazed
Lift my hands and say
[ Find more Lyrics on www.mp3lyrics.org/hk2h ]
He is
He was
He always will be
He lives
He loves
he's always with me
Even when it feels like there is no one holding me
Be still, my soul
Through every fear
And every doubt
And every tear I shed
Down every road
I'm not alone
No matter where I am
He is
He was
And He always will be
He lives
He loves
he's always with me
Even when it feels like there is no one holding me
Be still, my soul
Be still, and know
Be still, my soul
He is
The song is "He is" by Mark Schultz and I have grown rather fond of it.
Then shortly after that they read the word of the day; Proverbs 17:22 "A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones." I can understand that all too well. I immediately thought of writing it on a note card and having Dylan and I memorize it.
Tonight when I grabbed by Bible to look up the Proverbs verse, there was a blue tab towards the back. I decided to see what was being marked and what I came across made my heart stop. The only thing underlined is Ephesians 3:13 which says "Therefore I ask that you do not lose heart at my tribulations for you, which is your glory." Wow! Absolutely amazing! My heart literally stopped when I read that. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. It was undeniable that God was speaking directly to me and He was speaking loud and clear.
I have been feeling very overwhelmed lately with life and in particular my son's attitude. Earlier in the evening before I snapped I was literally crying out to God asking Him what am I suppose to do with my son. A person can only take so much attitude and I am trying very hard to get him to make better choices for his own sake.
Lately my life has been very overwhelming and I find myself very easily irritated, angered, frustrated, etc. God's prescription to me is to be cheerful or at the very least surround myself with people who are that it may lift me up and, more importantly I think, not to lose heart. In order to do that I must get my eyes off me and my circumstance and keep them on Him.
Tonight I was having a VERY rough time with Dylan and I snapped. A minute later, I hear this come from the radio:
Father, let the world just fade away
Let me feel your presence in this place
Lord, I've never been so weary
How I need to know you're near me
Father, let the world just fade away
Till I'm on my knees
Till my heart can sing
He is
He was
He always will be
Even when it feels like there is no one holding me
Be still, my soul
He is
Father, let your Holy Spirit sing
Let it calm the storm inside of me
As I stand amazed
Lift my hands and say
[ Find more Lyrics on www.mp3lyrics.org/hk2h ]
He is
He was
He always will be
He lives
He loves
he's always with me
Even when it feels like there is no one holding me
Be still, my soul
Through every fear
And every doubt
And every tear I shed
Down every road
I'm not alone
No matter where I am
He is
He was
And He always will be
He lives
He loves
he's always with me
Even when it feels like there is no one holding me
Be still, my soul
Be still, and know
Be still, my soul
He is
The song is "He is" by Mark Schultz and I have grown rather fond of it.
Then shortly after that they read the word of the day; Proverbs 17:22 "A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones." I can understand that all too well. I immediately thought of writing it on a note card and having Dylan and I memorize it.
Tonight when I grabbed by Bible to look up the Proverbs verse, there was a blue tab towards the back. I decided to see what was being marked and what I came across made my heart stop. The only thing underlined is Ephesians 3:13 which says "Therefore I ask that you do not lose heart at my tribulations for you, which is your glory." Wow! Absolutely amazing! My heart literally stopped when I read that. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. It was undeniable that God was speaking directly to me and He was speaking loud and clear.
I have been feeling very overwhelmed lately with life and in particular my son's attitude. Earlier in the evening before I snapped I was literally crying out to God asking Him what am I suppose to do with my son. A person can only take so much attitude and I am trying very hard to get him to make better choices for his own sake.
Lately my life has been very overwhelming and I find myself very easily irritated, angered, frustrated, etc. God's prescription to me is to be cheerful or at the very least surround myself with people who are that it may lift me up and, more importantly I think, not to lose heart. In order to do that I must get my eyes off me and my circumstance and keep them on Him.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
I wish I knew
My heart is heavy with wonder/concern over the fate of some people I knew growing up. The family consisted of a man, a woman, their 3 little girls and his son from a previous marriage. The man had another son (the boy's brother), but he did not live with them.
Quite a few years ago, when the girls were probably between the ages of 4-8, the woman went to jail for a little while and that was hard on the family. Then 6 years after that, not only did mom go to prison, but dad did too. Their sentences were so long that I am sure they put them up for adoption. The son by then was an adult, but I don't know what happened to him. I found someone on FB that looks like it could be him, but 1) I am not sure it is him and 2) if it is I am not sure he will admit it/acknowledge me. I haven't seen or talked to him since before the stuff happened with his dad. Not sure if I would be a bad reminder since I was "friends" with his dad and step-mom.
I wonder what happened to the three girls too. They had a pretty rough go at it with their biological parents. I hope they found a family that loved them and treated them right. I can't believe that they would be adults by now. That just blows my mind! The last time I seen them would have been about 3 or 4 years before their parents got taken away. It had been awhile since I had seen them last and although the oldest remembered me, the youngest 2 did not.
I would really love to find out what happened to these girls/guy. I hope God helps me find them.
Quite a few years ago, when the girls were probably between the ages of 4-8, the woman went to jail for a little while and that was hard on the family. Then 6 years after that, not only did mom go to prison, but dad did too. Their sentences were so long that I am sure they put them up for adoption. The son by then was an adult, but I don't know what happened to him. I found someone on FB that looks like it could be him, but 1) I am not sure it is him and 2) if it is I am not sure he will admit it/acknowledge me. I haven't seen or talked to him since before the stuff happened with his dad. Not sure if I would be a bad reminder since I was "friends" with his dad and step-mom.
I wonder what happened to the three girls too. They had a pretty rough go at it with their biological parents. I hope they found a family that loved them and treated them right. I can't believe that they would be adults by now. That just blows my mind! The last time I seen them would have been about 3 or 4 years before their parents got taken away. It had been awhile since I had seen them last and although the oldest remembered me, the youngest 2 did not.
I would really love to find out what happened to these girls/guy. I hope God helps me find them.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
I almost forgot...
Earlier I read the devotional for Proverbs31.org and this is what I commented:
Although Proverbs 31 website is my homepage and I get your e-mails everyday, I don't read it consistently. As a matter of fact, I go more days without reading it than days that I do. Today though, for some reason, I didn't get the email and I noticed it. I went to the website to see if maybe it hadn't been put up yet and it had. I decided while I was there, I would go ahead and read it. Of course, as only God can do, it was what I needed to hear. It spoke to me on multiple levels especially the prayer. I couldn't have written it more perfectly myself.
The prayer is:
Father, Your daughter longs to be with You. Remind me of Your constant presence. May I seize opportunities to enjoy You throughout my day. In Jesus' Name, Amen.
http://proverbs31devotions.blogspot.com/
Earlier I read the devotional for Proverbs31.org and this is what I commented:
Although Proverbs 31 website is my homepage and I get your e-mails everyday, I don't read it consistently. As a matter of fact, I go more days without reading it than days that I do. Today though, for some reason, I didn't get the email and I noticed it. I went to the website to see if maybe it hadn't been put up yet and it had. I decided while I was there, I would go ahead and read it. Of course, as only God can do, it was what I needed to hear. It spoke to me on multiple levels especially the prayer. I couldn't have written it more perfectly myself.
The prayer is:
Father, Your daughter longs to be with You. Remind me of Your constant presence. May I seize opportunities to enjoy You throughout my day. In Jesus' Name, Amen.
http://proverbs31devotions.blogspot.com/
Oh My!
I really wish I could keep up with this more regularly. I think it would prove to be ____ now and ____ down the road. God is good and it is essential to remember what He has done.
It has been a challenging last few days at our house. Dylan's teacher told me awhile ago (can't quite remember when) that he was on a downward spiral; that he was heading into his depressed mode. The impact of his negativity, back talking, arguing, blaming, etc had begun to take it's toll on me. Finally tonight I was really getting to the point where I'd had it. All of a sudden, Dylan had done something and instead of me snapping or yelling at him or even getting upset with him, I had a light bulb moment. Instantly, it occurred to me that Dylan was operating out of depression and I was able to calmly and lovingly talk to him about it. What normally would have ended with me yelling at Dylan and/or sending him to his room and him crying over that, ended with us talking, hugging, and Dylan crying in a healing/healthy way. I have prayed for awhile that God would make me others minded; that He would help me to focus on how my reaction effects the other person instead of focusing on what that person is doing to me. I have also been praying that He would teach me His ways. Tonight, my ability to deal with Dylan in that matter was an answer to those prayers. I was also able to tell Dylan that he needs to give his problems to God rather than lashing out at me.
I can't really explain it any better than that. I know that there are many things that I understand in my head, but it is a whole other ball game when I experience it. That is what happened today and I hope it sticks. Dylan deserves a palm tree with feathers (will explain another day)
It has been a challenging last few days at our house. Dylan's teacher told me awhile ago (can't quite remember when) that he was on a downward spiral; that he was heading into his depressed mode. The impact of his negativity, back talking, arguing, blaming, etc had begun to take it's toll on me. Finally tonight I was really getting to the point where I'd had it. All of a sudden, Dylan had done something and instead of me snapping or yelling at him or even getting upset with him, I had a light bulb moment. Instantly, it occurred to me that Dylan was operating out of depression and I was able to calmly and lovingly talk to him about it. What normally would have ended with me yelling at Dylan and/or sending him to his room and him crying over that, ended with us talking, hugging, and Dylan crying in a healing/healthy way. I have prayed for awhile that God would make me others minded; that He would help me to focus on how my reaction effects the other person instead of focusing on what that person is doing to me. I have also been praying that He would teach me His ways. Tonight, my ability to deal with Dylan in that matter was an answer to those prayers. I was also able to tell Dylan that he needs to give his problems to God rather than lashing out at me.
I can't really explain it any better than that. I know that there are many things that I understand in my head, but it is a whole other ball game when I experience it. That is what happened today and I hope it sticks. Dylan deserves a palm tree with feathers (will explain another day)
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Part 2
Well, I guess we'll see how many parts it'll take to get it all written. I only have a certain amount of time and I'm not sure that I'll remember it all in order either.
There has been time after time this past week or so where something would happen and it was a total godincidence. A song would play at just the right time or some other small event would take place.
Well, well, well. It is now November and I am just coming across this. Obviously (or maybe not so obviously) I have NO idea what I was going to write about here. :( Wish I knew
There has been time after time this past week or so where something would happen and it was a total godincidence. A song would play at just the right time or some other small event would take place.
Well, well, well. It is now November and I am just coming across this. Obviously (or maybe not so obviously) I have NO idea what I was going to write about here. :( Wish I knew
It's been a long time
Wow! I am not quite sure why it has been so long since I last wrote. A funny thing though is that the 3 month day since I last wrote will be the anniversary of my dad's death. It'll have been 7 years. I still miss him very much.
I must take a trip back into time to give some clarification. Growing up I had three "dads." I had a biological father, an adopted dad, and a step dad. To make it as brief as possible...I knew my adopted dad from the time I was 18 months old. He didn't actually adopt me till I was in 3rd grade and then about a year later, they divorced. My mom got back together with her high school sweetheart and he became my step dad. We got along real well for the first few years, but due to some circumstances we had a VERY rough time for quite a few years and I moved out asap. For quite awhile I had nothing to do with him and over time, God began to restore our relationship. God restored our relationship to the point that I started calling him dad for 2 years before he died. He thought the world of me as well. The amazing thing is that God restored my relationship with my biological father as well. He came back into my life about 7 or 8 years ago.
A lot has happened since the last time I wrote of course. Some I can remember some I can not (of course, right?). I went on vacation with my dad at the end of July. That was a lot of fun. Dylan stayed with his dad's mom and I got to have a break and have fun for a few days. It was really nice. We went to Branson, Mo which I haven't been to in years and the last time I had gone it wasn't exactly under pleasant terms. I hadn't been to Sliver Dollar City since I was a toddler. I also went back to school at the end of August. I only had 5 classes to complete my degree. I am taking 3 now and will take the last two in the spring and graduate in May. I ended up experiencing an awesome God moment with someone I used to go to school with. I went to the funeral of the guy who was dating my friend and the two of them introduced me to Dylan's dad. He was only 32. Sad. I went to the Brookfield Zoo with a Dylan, a friend, and her stepson for free (well except the gas to drive). I got tickets to the Dino Alive exhibit through a different friend and Twitter. Then when I invited Shelley and Jeramy to go with, I found out that she's a memeber at the zoo. :) It was awesome!
About a week ago was my birthday and God has been tremendously gracious with me. I have seen His hand over and over recently in ways that have just left me in awe. The funny thing is that the reason I was blogging tonight to begin with was to write about that; however, I felt like I needed to update first since it has been so long and now I am tired. I had fallen asleep next to Dylan and then woke up a little while ago. I have to be up in a few hours and I'd really like to spend some time with God before I go back to sleep. I guess I'll have to finish this later. Hopefully, I'll be able to get this. I have a lot to get done right now.
I must take a trip back into time to give some clarification. Growing up I had three "dads." I had a biological father, an adopted dad, and a step dad. To make it as brief as possible...I knew my adopted dad from the time I was 18 months old. He didn't actually adopt me till I was in 3rd grade and then about a year later, they divorced. My mom got back together with her high school sweetheart and he became my step dad. We got along real well for the first few years, but due to some circumstances we had a VERY rough time for quite a few years and I moved out asap. For quite awhile I had nothing to do with him and over time, God began to restore our relationship. God restored our relationship to the point that I started calling him dad for 2 years before he died. He thought the world of me as well. The amazing thing is that God restored my relationship with my biological father as well. He came back into my life about 7 or 8 years ago.
A lot has happened since the last time I wrote of course. Some I can remember some I can not (of course, right?). I went on vacation with my dad at the end of July. That was a lot of fun. Dylan stayed with his dad's mom and I got to have a break and have fun for a few days. It was really nice. We went to Branson, Mo which I haven't been to in years and the last time I had gone it wasn't exactly under pleasant terms. I hadn't been to Sliver Dollar City since I was a toddler. I also went back to school at the end of August. I only had 5 classes to complete my degree. I am taking 3 now and will take the last two in the spring and graduate in May. I ended up experiencing an awesome God moment with someone I used to go to school with. I went to the funeral of the guy who was dating my friend and the two of them introduced me to Dylan's dad. He was only 32. Sad. I went to the Brookfield Zoo with a Dylan, a friend, and her stepson for free (well except the gas to drive). I got tickets to the Dino Alive exhibit through a different friend and Twitter. Then when I invited Shelley and Jeramy to go with, I found out that she's a memeber at the zoo. :) It was awesome!
About a week ago was my birthday and God has been tremendously gracious with me. I have seen His hand over and over recently in ways that have just left me in awe. The funny thing is that the reason I was blogging tonight to begin with was to write about that; however, I felt like I needed to update first since it has been so long and now I am tired. I had fallen asleep next to Dylan and then woke up a little while ago. I have to be up in a few hours and I'd really like to spend some time with God before I go back to sleep. I guess I'll have to finish this later. Hopefully, I'll be able to get this. I have a lot to get done right now.
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